So since no one really follows this blog – yet – I am not sure if this counts as an announcement. I’m expecting my first child! I’m starting to get happy about it – I was obsessed with doing it – and now it’s happening. I’m almost 1/2 way there – and so far all the news is good. But there’s a part of me that can’t believe I’m worthy of such a thing as this. But it’s happening so… I now allow myself to stroll through the children’s section and touch small shoes, I find myself making “knowing” eye contact with other babies and small small children…which is likely odd and freaky behavior to the untrained observer (i.e. concerned security guards).
But I’ve also been struggling in a really real (and with world perspective) a lucky sort of way – but it’s still struggling and I have to get better. I can stay still.
I quit my full-time job a few months ago thinking I’d have all this mental space to conquer a freelance writing career and almost from the start I’ve been totally paralyzed with depression and anxiety – something I didn’t expect. So I’ve crawled out of a four month pit, am recognizing I am four months pregnant (and super healthy physically). But realizing that can’t be enough I have to try to take advantage of this time and get my SHIT together, write, create, talk, network (SHUDDER). It’s enough to send me spinning towards hiding in the closet. BUT my goal for this week is trying to at least open my computer and write some stuff.
Hopefully this blog will be something I can keep up – no promises.
Also Jenny Lawson, this is your fault. I say that with love.
Processed 